Comments on: How to write unflattering things about people you love http://alyssacmartino.com/2010/02/how-to-write-unflattering-things-about-people-you-love/ Writing, Travel, Change Thu, 05 Apr 2012 23:14:07 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Alyssa http://alyssacmartino.com/2010/02/how-to-write-unflattering-things-about-people-you-love/comment-page-1/#comment-391 Alyssa Mon, 01 Aug 2011 16:06:46 +0000 http://thepenandpaper.wordpress.com/?p=315#comment-391 Thanks for commenting, Leslie. Happy to have got you thinking about this again, as I feel strongly it's important :) Thanks for commenting, Leslie. Happy to have got you thinking about this again, as I feel strongly it’s important :)

]]> By: Leslie http://alyssacmartino.com/2010/02/how-to-write-unflattering-things-about-people-you-love/comment-page-1/#comment-390 Leslie Mon, 01 Aug 2011 14:15:11 +0000 http://thepenandpaper.wordpress.com/?p=315#comment-390 I found this post linked from your most recent one, and I think this is super helpful. I feel like I live in the early stages of a novel, and for this reason I've started writing down a lot more details than I normally would. This includes details about how I now feel about the first man I ever fell for, now that he's back in the picture, 5.5 years and two continents later. Thanks for reminding me to do this delicately. I found this post linked from your most recent one, and I think this is super helpful. I feel like I live in the early stages of a novel, and for this reason I’ve started writing down a lot more details than I normally would. This includes details about how I now feel about the first man I ever fell for, now that he’s back in the picture, 5.5 years and two continents later. Thanks for reminding me to do this delicately.
Leslie\’s last [type] ..Seeing China in Chile: a mini-photoessay

]]> By: Welcome and take a look around! http://alyssacmartino.com/2010/02/how-to-write-unflattering-things-about-people-you-love/comment-page-1/#comment-387 Welcome and take a look around! Tue, 12 Jul 2011 12:16:04 +0000 http://thepenandpaper.wordpress.com/?p=315#comment-387 [...] How to write unflattering things about people you love [...] [...] How to write unflattering things about people you love [...]

]]> By: Diving Back In: Creative Nonfiction http://alyssacmartino.com/2010/02/how-to-write-unflattering-things-about-people-you-love/comment-page-1/#comment-285 Diving Back In: Creative Nonfiction Thu, 16 Sep 2010 22:58:16 +0000 http://thepenandpaper.wordpress.com/?p=315#comment-285 [...] I haven’t been writing it because of this idea: much of what I’m writing can be hurtful to others, and as a result, will never see the light [...] [...] I haven’t been writing it because of this idea: much of what I’m writing can be hurtful to others, and as a result, will never see the light [...]

]]> By: Thoughts on Self-Portrayal (or why your readers will accept you as you are!) http://alyssacmartino.com/2010/02/how-to-write-unflattering-things-about-people-you-love/comment-page-1/#comment-183 Thoughts on Self-Portrayal (or why your readers will accept you as you are!) Sat, 08 May 2010 08:57:24 +0000 http://thepenandpaper.wordpress.com/?p=315#comment-183 [...] when I was worried about writing unflattering things about people I love? What about unflattering things about MYSELF? Oh wait, I think I’ve about got that covered. [...] [...] when I was worried about writing unflattering things about people I love? What about unflattering things about MYSELF? Oh wait, I think I’ve about got that covered. [...]

]]> By: Alyssa http://alyssacmartino.com/2010/02/how-to-write-unflattering-things-about-people-you-love/comment-page-1/#comment-112 Alyssa Thu, 04 Mar 2010 20:49:43 +0000 http://thepenandpaper.wordpress.com/?p=315#comment-112 We should make a graph: heart wrenching-ness of a piece vs. difficulty/anxiety in writing it. It'd be exponential, I'm quite sure. It's fitting for you to leave the first comment on the new diggs :) We should make a graph: heart wrenching-ness of a piece vs. difficulty/anxiety in writing it. It’d be exponential, I’m quite sure.

It’s fitting for you to leave the first comment on the new diggs :)

]]> By: Amanda http://alyssacmartino.com/2010/02/how-to-write-unflattering-things-about-people-you-love/comment-page-1/#comment-111 Amanda Thu, 04 Mar 2010 19:32:02 +0000 http://thepenandpaper.wordpress.com/?p=315#comment-111 I struggle with this every single time I sit down to write something, especially if I know the offending (?) party is going to be reading it. I don't worry so much in fiction but on my blog and in non-fiction, it's especially difficult. When you tremble to write it -- when it really pains you to type it -- that's when you know that the piece is going to be important. Heart-wrenching and terrifying, but important. .-= Amanda's last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/violetminded/~3/ugT6OWTBeuE/" rel="nofollow">Happiness is not a fish you can catch. Nor is it a pant size.</a> =-. I struggle with this every single time I sit down to write something, especially if I know the offending (?) party is going to be reading it. I don’t worry so much in fiction but on my blog and in non-fiction, it’s especially difficult.

When you tremble to write it — when it really pains you to type it — that’s when you know that the piece is going to be important. Heart-wrenching and terrifying, but important.
.-= Amanda’s last blog ..Happiness is not a fish you can catch. Nor is it a pant size. =-.

]]> By: amartino http://alyssacmartino.com/2010/02/how-to-write-unflattering-things-about-people-you-love/comment-page-1/#comment-110 amartino Wed, 03 Mar 2010 13:01:01 +0000 http://thepenandpaper.wordpress.com/?p=315#comment-110 Hi Kanitha, I so appreciate you weighing in on this. I think part of me has always admired how intimately you've written about your family. After your reading I was just so damn impressed, but I thought, I don't know if I could ever write about things that emotional or close to me... Sometimes it's easy to get lost in the words or themes and forget that every writer struggles with this. Reading the post about your Mom coming to visit was especially eye-opening and probably in some conscious or unconscious way prompted this post! I also love that idea of self-discovery through writing and think it's absolutely true. Writing about people we love is a challenge, but one that pays off in the things we learn about them and ourselves. Thanks for stopping by :) Hi Kanitha,

I so appreciate you weighing in on this. I think part of me has always admired how intimately you’ve written about your family. After your reading I was just so damn impressed, but I thought, I don’t know if I could ever write about things that emotional or close to me…

Sometimes it’s easy to get lost in the words or themes and forget that every writer struggles with this. Reading the post about your Mom coming to visit was especially eye-opening and probably in some conscious or unconscious way prompted this post! I also love that idea of self-discovery through writing and think it’s absolutely true. Writing about people we love is a challenge, but one that pays off in the things we learn about them and ourselves.

Thanks for stopping by :)

]]> By: Kanitha http://alyssacmartino.com/2010/02/how-to-write-unflattering-things-about-people-you-love/comment-page-1/#comment-109 Kanitha Wed, 03 Mar 2010 05:14:55 +0000 http://thepenandpaper.wordpress.com/?p=315#comment-109 This is something that I have struggled with deeply, Alyssa (as you well know). It's absolutely something that a memoirist or personal essay-ist must deal with, but oftentimes, you don't choose to write about those you love. You instinctively do it. You can't help but write of them. I forget who said this, but her words were: "I didn't choose memoir. It chose me." I think if a writer avoids writing about these things, she limits herself to what may be a great discovery about the self and those she loves. This is something that I have struggled with deeply, Alyssa (as you well know). It’s absolutely something that a memoirist or personal essay-ist must deal with, but oftentimes, you don’t choose to write about those you love. You instinctively do it. You can’t help but write of them. I forget who said this, but her words were: “I didn’t choose memoir. It chose me.”

I think if a writer avoids writing about these things, she limits herself to what may be a great discovery about the self and those she loves.

]]> By: amartino http://alyssacmartino.com/2010/02/how-to-write-unflattering-things-about-people-you-love/comment-page-1/#comment-108 amartino Sat, 27 Feb 2010 04:54:26 +0000 http://thepenandpaper.wordpress.com/?p=315#comment-108 Julie, I really appreciate you sharing this experience. It's such a touchy subject, and you really never know how people will react when you write about them. It's really interesting to me that your father also commented on the dangerous sentence from your blog--a blog you didn't even know he read! It's kind of a lose-lose situation for us. You lose if you don't write the truth--because it's more interesting. And you lose if you do--when you risk offending/hurting someone you had no intention to do so. It's so intriguing to me how different writers handle this, so I really really do appreciate you sharing this specific experience. I remain conscious about this too to a point of heightened tension--and it's (in an odd way) comforting to know that other writers deal with it, as well. Julie, I really appreciate you sharing this experience. It’s such a touchy subject, and you really never know how people will react when you write about them. It’s really interesting to me that your father also commented on the dangerous sentence from your blog–a blog you didn’t even know he read! It’s kind of a lose-lose situation for us. You lose if you don’t write the truth–because it’s more interesting. And you lose if you do–when you risk offending/hurting someone you had no intention to do so. It’s so intriguing to me how different writers handle this, so I really really do appreciate you sharing this specific experience. I remain conscious about this too to a point of heightened tension–and it’s (in an odd way) comforting to know that other writers deal with it, as well.

]]>