It’s fitting for you to leave the first comment on the new diggs

When you tremble to write it — when it really pains you to type it — that’s when you know that the piece is going to be important. Heart-wrenching and terrifying, but important.
Amanda’s last blog ..Happiness is not a fish you can catch. Nor is it a pant size.

I so appreciate you weighing in on this. I think part of me has always admired how intimately you’ve written about your family. After your reading I was just so damn impressed, but I thought, I don’t know if I could ever write about things that emotional or close to me…

Sometimes it’s easy to get lost in the words or themes and forget that every writer struggles with this. Reading the post about your Mom coming to visit was especially eye-opening and probably in some conscious or unconscious way prompted this post! I also love that idea of self-discovery through writing and think it’s absolutely true. Writing about people we love is a challenge, but one that pays off in the things we learn about them and ourselves.

Thanks for stopping by

I think if a writer avoids writing about these things, she limits herself to what may be a great discovery about the self and those she loves.

I recently wrote on Cuaderno Inedito, “My father taught me that fiction was dangerous.” I didn’t even know my dad knew about that blog, but he did, and when he read that, he was really enraged all over again. He wrote a long, passionately angry email that troubled me a lot. But I replied by telling him I was simply writing my truth– that it was a truth, not necessarily THE truth, and that I’d never intended to hurt him. I also told him that my writing what I did wasn’t a value judgment- it was simply a statement of what I believed to be true. It was a really painful exchange to have, but one that was necessary (at least for me). Though I’ll admit I’m still very conscious about writing about my family.

It’s so happy and nice to hear that your Mom was supportive Flaws do make life interesting and I think the people we love will understand that and *hopefully* understand that they make reality and writing have some depth.

Thanks for a great, thought-provoking comment!

In my recent pit bull piece on matadorchange, I wrote that my prejudice against pit bulls began with my parents. I almost took that part out, but I wanted to be transparent. If I had said something else it would have been a lie and if I had left it out I might have missed an opportunity to connect with readers.

Thankfully, my mom was completely cool about it. She ended up writing a beautiful comment for the piece and we talked on the phone about my not wanting to call her out, but just being honest. She thought it was great and recognized that she had, in fact, been prejudiced and has changed her opinions about pit bulls just as I have.

You’re so right about flaws. They make life interesting…and real. And like you said, “I want my readers to love the people I write about as much as I do, to see their flaws and accept them with open arms.”

I’m still need to grow some cajones if I think about writing more memoir type material. When it comes to writing unflattering things about the people you love, I just hope that the people I love will recognize I love them as a whole, flaws and all…

Thanks for a great, though-provoking post.

I think editing yourself is important in these situations, and it’s nice to know you go through again looking through that prism of consequence and impact. Also, it’s helpful for me to understand that I’m not the only one who struggles with this in such a big and intense way. Thanks again for sharing.