Julie recently blogged about the Anatomy of a Rejection. The comments on this piece got me thinking–that accepting (or even embracing!) rejection is a lot like learning to like a bad workout.
I am (attempting, at least) to run a race in early June. It’s only a 5k, but I’ve never run more than 3 miles in my life, and even those times have been rare. I also have a tendency for not finishing things. This is my shot to kick not one–but two–iffy habits and replace them with better ones.
In the past couple months, things kept getting in the way of my running routine. As a result, tonight’s run was a serious struggle. I didn’t make it very far. My legs hurt. I had a cramp. I couldn’t focus my breathing or get into a rhythm.
But here’s the thing: it was a start. As my first run in weeks, I can now say with confidence, “It will only get easier!” If that’s not a good feeling, then I don’t know what is.
via qisur
But I bet you’re wondering what this has to do with writing.
I commented on Julie’s Anatomy of a Rejection post that I’d much prefer rejection to the alternatives: publishing a less than top-notch piece of writing, taking the gig away from a better suited submission, etc.
Fellow travel writer Reeti even posted that rejection has never bothered her; she is totally unemotional about the process, and instead, focuses on learning from the pieces that are published.
After rejection, a writer can probe a kind editor a little for answers about their strengths or weaknesses. Furthermore, writers can reflect on the process in retrospect. What could they have done better? What connections did they miss? Was there a disconnect between the piece and the receiving publication?
It is only after rejection that I can comprehend the reason for a thumbs down. When we write, we become biased proprietors of our work; it is difficult for us to rationally judge our own writing (rightfully so!). Yet when a piece is on its last legs, our chances of seeing a problem illuminated increases exponentially.
While not everyone handles rejection as well and as wisely as Reeti, perhaps we can all move towards this sense of detachment and smarts if we realize this fact: rejection leads to better days!
via Philon
My run today was short, slow, and lacking in leg strength, but it was NOT shameful. No, my terrible run was a beginning–something messy, but nonetheless, admirable, a vehicle to complete a journey that began today on the treadmill. This journey will end at a finish line in June. The same way my first rejection ended with my first publication.
And both running and writing will pay off for one distinctive reason…because I’ll keep going.
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Twitter: alexisgrant
February 18, 2010 at 3:44 am
Love this! Running is an analogy for life in so many ways, and the best one is what you describe. You can always get better. No pain, no gain. And as one of my friend’s dad always says: the more you don’t feel like doing it, the more you should.
Good luck with the training! Sounds like you have the determination to do it.
Thanks! I’m going to remember that: “the more you don’t feel like doing it, the more you should.” That’s a good motivation…
And I may sound determined, but it’s easy to quit running…still, it will get easier…so I’m sticking with it.
Twitter: shantiwallah
February 18, 2010 at 6:19 am
As we say in NZ, good on you! I have a love hate thing going on with my treadmill, but I see it as a necessary antidote to all those hours I sit to write. I’m a tramper (hiker) more than a runner, and I plan to do a big walk in March. Good luck with your goal!
Ah hiking is great, too! I just moved to DC and I think in the spring I am also going to explore new trails outside the city..
Thanks for commenting, Marie
What a great post! I feel you on the running – I am a TERRIBLE runner, but a little over a year ago I ran my first 5k. It felt like a huge accomplishment. However, I kept comparing myself to others and pushing myself further. Next I ran a 5 mile race, then started training for a half-marathon, feeling like to say running a 5k was hard was shameful or something. It isn’t! I burnt myself out so fast, literally stopping about 5 minutes into a run one morning and going “I freaking hate this.” And not running again for 6 months. I wish I could have just been happy running my 5k and stuck to that distance…
Which I am keeping in mind with writing too. Sticking to writing at my own speed, pace, ability feels like a better choice than trying to do too much at once or be jealous of my peers with different lives and abilities. I love your metaphor, and I will definitely be using it as a self-warning in my own life!
It’s SO tough. I know I sound like a baby but even 5 miles is daunting to me… I feel like some are programmed as runners, and others (me) are just NOT. ha.
I’m glad the metaphor “worked” for you…hopefully it works to motivate me to actually stick with it as well. I can’t imagine quitting writing, but running…whoooole different story.
I always say that bad runs are the most important mentally
Keep me updated about your training!
But of course…! Even though I know there will be days where I hate it, I’m secretly excited for the pay off..
Rejection is a great opportunity to learn about writing and oneself. I’ve had rejection that has taught me more than acceptance and I’ve had rejection (particularly in the music world) that has taught me that I, ultimately, need to be the one that determines my worthiness in my career.
Congrats on your 5K training. I’ve attempted running in the past, but never stuck with. I tend to be of the walk/yoga variety, but admire runners like yourself.
Thanks
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